We have been here for almost 4 months now and I noticed that I do not write a whole lot about the kids or my work with them. Some of you may wonder why, so I will try to explain. I will not be exhaustive because I do not want to nor intend to make anybody look bad. Let me start off by saying this has all been a great learning experience, not always easy, but valuable lessons learned to take with me throughout life. The short version is this, I came here with an expectation and that expectation was not realized. That expectation was to assist in the everyday functions of H2O. I built up this expectation based on what I was told about the place and the need presented. There are 20+ kids and few staff. Last year was hard on them, having to travel to Chiang Mai (10 hours away) and Mae Sot (4 hours away), to treat 2 ill children, often 2x a month. This would leave two people behind to care for the rest. Wow, it sounded like they really needed help, right? So, we arrive and of course there is an adjustment period; there were so many things to adjust to. Soon after arriving, we found out that our host couple was not fully informed about our intentions or much else about us. Hmm, interesting. Even at this point, expectations were not discussed. They are asking us why have we come and we said we just want to help in anyway that you see fit. We discussed a number of ways that we could be involved with H2O, however, we needed to get our work permits (this made us have to leave town every 2 weeks). Things were mentioned but not much was actually implemented. So I ended up really only teaching English to outsiders. This was frustrating to me, but what was I to do. Now let me interject this, cultural differences affect everything! I was trying to be sensitive to them, not always knowing what is offensive. For example, could I just waltz up into the kitchen and say I'm cooking today? That seems too intrusive, however a friend of mine who has lived in Asia for a while said, in Asian culture, if they mention something once, they expect you to do it, even thought they have not "organized" it. Ahh I see, I am supposed to take initiative. Well I did that in areas that I thought were in need of assistance, like the morning routine. I would get up and attempt to help in the kitchen with breakfast and lunch prep. It was not discouraged, but I also felt awkward because I was putting myself in that position. I had to sometimes insist on the cook letting me do things, not because she is a control freak but because we were never formally placed in that position. She didn't want to put her work off onto me. Also, I was helping make sure the kids were up, looked presentable, with hair combed and faces washed etc. Again, that was a bit uncomfortable, not having been asked to do it. I had to be in their "house" early in the morning to do these things. Then we went through a pretty awkward stage where we just felt uncomfortable. Not really knowing our place or what they actually thought about us just involving ourselves in things, so we stopped. Once we had our work permits, we started helping in the government school and now we are only really with the kids on weekends. No, not what we thought we would be doing. We play with them on Saturdays and on Sundays we teach Sunday School. A lot of the issue I see is lack of communication, lack of organization and misunderstandings. The person who founded H2O and drums up funding lives in Finland, while the people who actually run it are here. We were in primary communication with the person in Finland, with little to no contact with them over here before we arrived. It seems each party had their own ideas about how we could be useful, but they did not communicate that to each other, so here we come with one expectation, that would be impossible to be met without clear communication.
I hope that you are not confused, I did leave out a lot of detail, I cannot say that it is all necessary to be told. I have no hard feelings toward anybody for how things have turned out and there is always the possibility of things changing. The issues presented are very common and I realize that. I do not want you to get the impression that we are not welcome there during the week, it's just that the kids are in school all day so there is no point in being there during the day and when we assisted with homework, it was English homework. Now that we are their English teachers, it would be redundant. Also, I was to say, I can clearly see areas where I dropped the ball. Areas that I could have been more involved, but on my part, I guess laziness set in. Not being asked to do certain things made me loose motivation to do other things that surely would have been well received. For example, Naung Put is pre-school age. In hindsight, I see that I could have spent like an hour a day with her, teaching her the alphabet and numbers, reading to her in English, etc, but I didn't. That would have really been a benefit for her once she entered school. But hindsight is always 20/20 is how the saying goes. I think we may re-explore with them ways that we can be involved, but I guess we will see.
*Side note: I emailed my dentist about my tooth. of course he needs to see me but he said if there is no pain in the tooth, then it can wait, so that is what I will do. Wait until a more convenient time to get it looked at. Also, I did find a dress that actually fit and looked nice on me... but the bride just couldn't make up her mind. Long story short, I am wearing a traditional Karen dress that was given to me as a Christmas gift. The wedding is next Sunday!
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